Hello, I dunno quite why I'm using this journal but...Here I am...So I might as well.

I feel like such a shit bag right now...Last time I was at Stevie's (mah bestest buhhdahy :D) I might as well have ignored her. I was on the phone most the entire time, even though I had stayed over at her house to spend time with her I ended up not...I feel like such an asshole, she's never ever done anything that  inconsiderate to me before...I am a douche.

Then just today. I had talked with her previously about Peter coming with  me and her to pass out candy on halloween, but apparently she wasn't thinking as seriously as I was. (I think it was mostly miss-communication) Well I went ahead and asked her mom if it was ok if he did come over since Stevie had liked the idea and all that jazz...I just didn't want to be like here go ask your mom if it's ok or not for him to come with us would you?...

Stevie called me later a little mad cause she had no idea what I was talking about, and now I feel like even more of a douche bag...I explained what I had thought she meant and what not, then she explained what she thought was going on and well...I just feel like a shit friend...Stevie should just never talk to me again I keep acting like such a butt....

I feel so down and low about myself I've even resorted to cursing at myself...I used to curse allot, I like to think I'm not that bad about it anymore...Today though I just don't know what else to consider myself....I feel so bad....

              bleb

                                         v.v

                                                                                                                                      -oblivio

I love Peter Webb. That’s all there is to it folks, I love him. I don't think I can love him anymore than I already do but he surprises me everyday and makes me love him even more. I sometimes think Ill go crazy from loving him as much as I do. I want to spend every second of every day with him, he brightens my day and makes me smile, and he makes me feel like no one else has ever made me feel. I love to make him smile, I love to make him happy, I love to cook for him (even though I don't get to very often), and I love to see him laugh. I love the look on his face when he's concentrating (he looks adorable when he does by the way x3) I'd never admit to him that I actually like to watch him. When he's resting his eyes and trying to sleep he looks so calm and at peace, I love to see him that happy. I haven't been with him for years no, not even months but I love him and everything about him, I just do. I love the fact that I love him so much I don't even care about my grammar. I love that I care about him so much that I can write this passionately about him. That big grin he gets when he laughs and smiles I want to see it everyday. I don't care that I sound like the classic high school relationship that never makes it because we all fall in love in different ways at different paces and different times. No one really knows what love is so no one can tell me what we have isn't love. I care for him more than any other person I've ever known or been with. I would even go so far as to say I would die for him. I would do anything for that man. I know he wouldn't but if he asked me to degrade myself just to prove I loved him I would. That is something that I wouldn't do for anyone but him. I feel as though I sound obsessive about him but I just really love him...I'm crazy in love with this man and that’s all there is to it. :)      


             bleb.
                                                     <3

                                                                                            -Oblivio